MOVIE MARATHORN!!!

OWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FINALLY GOT TO SEE MY SEXY HALF NAKED ON A WIDE SCREEN CINEMA!!!! (as you all seen on my blog i have a huge obsession with taylor lautner) the movies that i watched today were the time travelers wife and new moon. new moon was better than twilight but still pretty crap due to the bad acting *cough kirsten stewart cough* even though its my opinion but like doodus, SHES SUCH A SHIT ACTRESS EVEN THOUGH SHE FITS THE PART OF BELLA SWAN XD ANYWAY.... in this chapter i shall retell a story how i nearly came face to face with the grim reaper and encountered death. (not really, just wanted to make it sound dramatic xD)

it all started when i received an instant message from pornstar at 11:30 am who wanted to watch new moon and the time travelers wife but we didnt know how we would manage to watch it all and be home by 7. we had come a conclusion that if we make it to crown by 12:30, we would make it to the 12:30 session for new moon. which was quite a pickle due to that WE'D HAVE TO LEAVE NOW IN OUR HOBO CLOTHES AND TRAIN IT THERE. a quick thinker as a i was (was really arguing with pornstar for like a good 20 minutes before figuring it out XD) i asked my beloved (more like enemy) sister (miyu) to drive us to the cinema. luckily she is currently working at crown, therefore making it convenient for her to assist us there where she can accompany us in our journey and later depart.

we arrived in crown at 12:40 with only missing a few minutes of the movie and pornstar was delighted to see her sexy edward cullen on during the time. this is when the countdown had began and my end was near. miyu had warned me not to do anything for the next 2 minutes but i was too thirsty so i decided to ignore her warning and took a sip from my frozen coke. in that instant jacob black had took his top off revealing his canvas structured abs and thats when i saw a bright light but i could hear my sister calling me to come back and i i fought my way back to the living. (i actually just choked on my drink as soon as he took his top off and my sister was laughing at me =.='') i tried oh so hard to listen and watch the complexity and passion of the movie but the canvas abs kept hypnotizing me and made me gaze into them whenever they appeared. (aka as soon as jacob black appeared, eyes flied straight to the abs. as you can see i wasnt really paying attention to the movie at all. XD)

could you blame me for almost dying looking at this?? XD



at 2:30 the movie had finished and the next movie would begin in an hour so we decided have a little snack (which was sui gao noodle soup XD) but before we ate, miyu wanted to go to FCUK to purchase a new cardigan that she considered purchasing a while back. whilst patiently waiting (more like getting agro) pornstar and i decided to entertain ourselves by taking a couple for pictures of ourselves to pass the time.




bored asians XD







40 minutes had passed and the next thing i remembered, pornstar and i was running for our lives. pornstar had lost her wallet back in the cinema and we ran back to retrieve it but the guards that was protecting the fortress refused to let us pass and stated they did not see any wallet like object. so the only thing me could do was wait... wait in hope that it'd still be there, waiting for someone to return it, hoping that no thieve would have taken it and use it for their own wellbeing.

we returned back to miyu and had our snack and then went to go and watch our next movie, the time travelers wife. instead of going straight into the cinema i went into the previous cinema to search for pornstars wallet. being a lady i was all quiet, poise and invisible when i was searching for it (actually i made alot of noise, moved the curtains everywhere and flashed the light under the chairs where people were sitting and watching the movie, so all they had to do was look down and they would instantly see a bright light under their seat.... i wonder if they would of screamed to death?? XD) there were 2 civilians who had noticed me doing this but they did not pursue me... just sat there and stared (probably thought i was trying to take pictures under the peoples skirt or something XD) after minutes on end of searching for it, i was about to lose hope and surrender but my wondering hands managed to stumble upon a square like object and there it was... THE WALLET WAS FOUND (i swear to god pissed me off cause it was standing up and leaning on the staircase... =.='') after that pornstar, miyu and i enjoyed the rest of the day watching the time travelers wife. (was a sad movie)

it was 6:30 when my sister had to depart from us due to she had other plans (work) which left pornstar and i to fend for ourselves in this dangerously haunted city. luckily we managed to find some assistance from the civilian and just as we knew it, we were on our way home in the polar express just in time for supper. this concludes another chapter of epic tales of a bored asian girl.

nite nite
frm doodie.

ROAD TRIP!!

today me and pornstar/mrs johnston/ mrs roddick went to buy books for orientation because we ARE FINALLY IN YEAR 12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i know me and pornstar are complete nerds because school isnt starting till next year and we're getting our new books just days after finishing year 11 XD )

anyway my dad wanted to take us to the city and buy it cause he was dropping things off in coburg and it was on the way there anyway. he took us to them factory areas and pornstar started to freak out and said AND I QUOTE "i dont want to get whacked. i dont want to get whacked." SHE SAID THAT THE ENTIRE TIME WE WERE THERE!! and for your entertainment, here was the conversation me and her had. (did this on purpose just to freak her out)
pornstar: I KNEW YOU WERE A MESSENGER! (this is because my mums friend gave me 300 bucks out of nowhere and she instantly thought i was in them mafia gangs and taking her to woop woop didnt help me convince her i wasnt one XD)
me: (sarcasm) yes kwin.... im taking you here to whack you
pornstar: i dont want to get whacked. i dont want to get whacked
*dad parks the car*
dad: you coming in??
me: yeah, hold on. you coming pornstar??
pornstar: *shakes head* i dont want to get whacked
me: if you stay in this car you'll get whacked
pornstar: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs out of the car and into the factory*

what was funny was that it was a clothes factory where they make brands like pilgrim and review but the people who work there looked like they could kill you xD


she was like this the entire time..... well until we got onto the freeway

after that my dad was on his way driving me and pornstar to the bookshop when my sister (miyu) called saying she needs to do some errands and there was only 1 car at home and my dad took it so my dad drove home and made her drive us instead.

we first did my sisters errands and she took us to springvale and dumped us at the safeway where we only had 5 dollars to survive on for 1 hour. i swear to god the environment there was sooooooooo dull, literally everyone looked all miserable and the cashiers looked like they wanted to kill someone XD.

it didnt get any better. pornstar bought a strawberry big M and she found it tasted funny. and everyone was staring cause we looked lost and i had stripper stockings on. =.='' and then these high school students were walking towards us and pornstar wanted to knock them out... (i think the big M did something to her)














EVEN THE BACKGROUND LOOKS DULL XD

when my sister finally arrived, we went to the city and bought our books but we'd parked in a meter parking area which only let us pay for 30 minutes so my sister went back first and me and pornstar rushed to get our books and ran to the car park. only to realise MY SISTER WASNT THERE!!! and it sucked even more cause my sister didnt bring her phone and had pornstars phone BUT IT WAS ON SILENT AND WAS CREDITLESS and the time expired on the meter so i had to run into the store and buy something so i can get some change and pay the meter =.='' then i texted pornstars phone praying she'd read the text and we ran back to the book store. and she wasnt there.... =.='' so we ran back to the carpark AND THERE SHE WAS IN THE FREAKEN CAR =.='' then she started lecturing us for being such idiots for leaving the car and she wasnt there yet cause she just went into the store to buy some ice cream. THE SAME FREAKEN STORE I WENT TO TO GET CHANGE =.='' gg hardcore man
anyway, thats all i got for tonight

nite nite
frm doodie

BIOLOGY DISECTION DAY!!!

today was the day my biology class dissected a rat to see its puny organs and examine how their digestive system worked. my god it was the most smelliest shit ive ever smelt in my entire life (well one of the most). but then again it is after all a thawed dead corpse of a rat so cant complain. the good news was that i didnt cut any of the main veins for the blood to start oozing out... now that would kill me XD

i was lucky to get a pregnant one and there was like a tube of babies and when i cut out the foetuses started to fall out in hypodrive XD. at first i felt really bad when i was cutting up the rat but it got easier and then it was fun, except when every now and then a humongous blast of the rats stench flew at my face. (almost puked a few times but it was all good). anyway here are the photos of the rat dissection in my bio class courtesy of MR PIE. keep this in mind that these images maybe very disturbing and disgusting so im not responsible for you guys puking and the white rat was MR PIE's and the grayish rat is mine. and MR PIE called his rat toby.



the tobys' genitals (MR PIE almost died when he cut it open )



the stomach being cut in half. the fod looked like oats... never gonna eat that again XD





the ribs....




MR PIES CAPTION (toby saying hi)

the small intestines (came out like spaghetti)

toby defaecated himself when MR PIE grabbed his testies XD. just kidding....

white rats organs when removed from the body.

ITS ALIVE AND SEEKING REVENGE!!!!! :O

its getting its dentures checked

THIS IS THE FOETUS FROM MY RAT

IT LOOKS SOO CUTE!!!

hes checking out his package XD

this is how MR PIE put back the organs of the toby

if you look very carfully, you can see toby eating his own small intestines XD

when the organs were taken out of tobys body.

and again......

poor poor toby

this is toby being crucifixed. MR PIE was jealous of his package XD

my rat would of given birth to 20 BABIES!!!!! talk about a big family

MR PIE dared me to put the intestines around my neck

im soo going to hell for this....

forgive father

for i have sinned....

my new baby.... (gender: unknown)

kiss it for good luck

i got hungry... XD

i dont know why i was soo happy in these photos.... kinda feel like a sick serial rat killer XD but that day was fn even though it was extremely hot. (like 34 DEGREES) anywhoo thats all i have for today

nite nite

frm doodie

HOW TO MAKE CHEAP WINE

this recipe was inspired by the 34 degree heat that i am facing in melbourne

ingredients
1 2L berri grape juice
1 fan

method:
1. buy your berri grape juice at any super market near home
2. when brougt home, leave it in your kitchen and DO NOT put it into the fridge.
3. wait for 34 degree day heat and let the fermantation work its magic. (all day)
4. fan yourself to avoid sweating or over heating or heat stroke... better yet GO BUY A AIR CONDITONER
5. when the bottle starts to inflate, open and pour into cup as desired
6. ENJOY!!

health and safety
if any dizziness or an upset stomachs occur after consuming this dodgy cheap liquid, disconsume this liquid. if symptoms continue, seek a doctor for assistance.

nite nite
frm doodie

THIS IS IT!!!!

sorry for like posting 3 blogs in 1 night. i finished them awhile back already but wasnt able to finish it but i have a good reason for that. it was cause i had exams coming up and i didnt have time to finish everyting cause my mum has been screaming at me for blogging too much and it was interrupting my studies so i didnt have a choice but to stop...... nah just kidding. LIKE HELL my mum actually cares if i blog or not. she doesnt even know what it is and when she comes over and checks on me, she thinks im doing an assignment or something cause it doesnt look like im on msn. and my exams are in two weeks so yeah...... just got a little lazy and wasnt very inspired as much as i was when i started.

ANYWHO about my title for this blog.... im sorry to say but epic tales of a bored asian is ending here. it had too end sometime and im sorry that it only lasted for a month.... JUST KIDDING!!! LIKE HELL ID STOPPED BLOGGING!! im lazy but not to that extent.

well this blog is just about me coming home from the movies again with just my mum, dad my sister (thiendiep) and my cousin (ba tam) and we just watched MICHAEL JACKSONS THIS IS IT MOVIE!!!!! it was sooo good that i got teary (or maybe my hormones started to act up cause of the weather). like when i watched it was like WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE!?!?!? his concert would of been soooo good and i would of hated london soo bad cause they got to see it and he wasnt gonna tour to australia god dammit. i was thinking of tapping it through my phone for you guys to have a little sneak preview of the movie but i was scared that i would get sued or something and my phone is too shit to video stuff at night anyway so SORRY!!

all the effort he put in was like omgness i cant believe that someone would put in soo much energy into something he doesnt really enjoy but to do it just to make people happy. truely he is the ultimate entertainer and it sucks that i can never get to meet him or watch him perform in person EVER but in a rectangular shaped boxed. =.=''

it was like watching his memorial again but the effect i got from the memorial and his movie was different cause i could feel how much effort he put onto this 50 tour concerts. like he wanted it to be a perfect as possible and exactly how he imagined how he would want to end it... with a bang. whereas the memorial i started crying like a bitch cause it was soo sad that we lost someone so great and talented. (literally i looked like i had some disease or something cause my face was all red and my lips are eyes were like puff daddies XD)

i know why some people would say its not good cause its like a documentary of all the planning and rehearsals of his big tour and not about like people killing eachother, or like hardcore porn like most people would want. but for fans who really love michael jacksons work, i strongly reccomend them to watch it cause you can really feel and see how much he wanted to please all of his fans. and i know some of you will think like omg this emotional random bitch is obviously a huge MJ and she is obviously biased towards him but guess what moles... I AM NOT!! well not to a crazy murderous extent. i just love his songs. like WHO COULD NOT LIKE HEAL THE WORLD?!?! (that shit always makes me cry when i listen to it) and i truely believe that this show (if it actually happened) would literally end with a bang. anywhoooo thats all i got for tonight.

nite nite
frm doodie